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《从心开始》后9·11时代的伤痛

作者:小七 | 来源:沪江博客 | 时间:4年前 | 阅读:8617次 | [划词   ]

有时候会带着一种同情的好奇:美国人,纽约人,那些亲睹、亲历或者因为那场浩劫失去亲人、朋友的人们,在这些年后,是如何生活?他们会不会害怕提起、害怕想起?小心翼翼地过日子,惊乍如惶恐的兔子?外甥女在那边读书。放假回来时说,学校安检特别烦琐,一道道程序都是严格进行。但也鲜有人抱怨。前不久震惊世界的校园枪击就在她们隔壁学校。还记得那日清晨听到广播后惊出的一身冷汗,直到通过MSN上的询问才终于安心。(自由民主到随便一个学生都能拿枪射杀无辜师生,敢情这发达国家的人权也真是发达到一定层次的。)因此我能理解,但不能想象,几年前眼睁睁看着飞机撞入、爆炸、大楼迅速地融化,自己的至爱就在那飞机上、那大楼里,那样的心情。



Alen同那场人祸没有太多干系。他的烦恼在于女病人的骚扰、合伙人的呼来喝去、双亲的年迈多病、女儿的偶尔任性以及妻子可能的过分关爱。平凡人,平凡的苦恼。但当他在餐桌上提起,见到了 Charlie ;女儿问是谁?他说,他 是他以前的大学室友; 他的家人,在一场空难中过世了。女儿接着问:是那场空难?是的。接下去,餐桌上没有人再说话了。

看桑德拉演个正经角色大概有点像看金·凯利在《暖暖内含光》里头的挣扎逃脱,总是带有一点残余的喜剧成分。比方傻乎乎地一个人沉迷于电子游戏,好像所有男人都欲罢不能所以妻子都痛恨的东西他却能自由地沉溺其间——但一回头却只是走廊后的寥落背影。比方在人家葬礼上送去一大笔钱遭到拒绝,上门道歉留下吃早餐,直来直去的一句“大家都健在?”——但一转身坐在桌上带着耳机闭着眼睛边吃边高唱。Charlie这个角色,在他所有的几近癫狂的沉默、可笑、暴怒的背后,你不能够从心底彻底地对他大笑或者气愤起来。乱发下面的迷离双眼,含糊不清的吐字,你明白这个人是真的每时每刻被痛苦吞噬着,尽管他努力想要忘却不想提及假装生命中不曾有过妻儿。

然而……I had three daughters. Gina was 5...



I had three daughters. Gina was 5. She was... Jenny ... was 7. She... She liked boys already. Julie was 9. She was older. They all looked alike, Johnson. Like Doreen. Doreen was my wife. D.T. That was her nickname. Doreen Timpleman. She had a dog, Spider. Spider. A poodle. They'd wake me up all the time, Saturday mornings, you know ... singing Beatles songs to me, in harmony. The four of them. So cute. So cute. Doreen never, never judged me. You know? Never nagged, like some wives do. She just wanted me to take my shoes off... so I didn't wreck the carpet. Doreen and the girls were very female. I was the oddball, you know? Mr. Man. They adored me, Johnson. I bet they did. They had long brown hair... except little Gina. She kept her hair short, you know. To be different from everybody. She... She had a birthmark too. Looked like a burn ... but it wasn't. When she was little, they said it was gonna go away ... but it never did. Jenny. Jenny, this one... she wanted to be a gymnast. She was such a klutz, though. I didn't have the heart to mention it as a problem. They went to see... Doreen's sister, Ellen, and her girls in Boston... and they took Spider because... I had to work and they didn't trust me to feed her. But that was a joke, right? And then... we were all going to D.T.'s little cousin's wedding ... in Los Angeles, and I was gonna meet them out there. The kids wanted to go to Disneyland... but they had-- They were already gonna miss a couple days of school... so we had to say no. You know. So I'm going on out to meet them in Los Angeles. And on my way to JFK, I'm in the taxicab... and I hear on the radio.... I get there and some man tells me the plane's from Boston. Some other guy says there's two planes. Then I go inside the airport and I'm watching-- I'm watching on the television and I-- And I saw it. I saw it and I felt it at the same time. I thought about Gina's birthmark... and I -- I felt them burning.


那一刻泪如泉涌。后来和颗粒聊起来,她说她也在那个场景情绪失控,但终究恢复过来批判地看下去。很是佩服。我向来都是,至少面对电影书籍,就算有个冷静理智的开头,也难在失控后再平复。因此所谓影评,也大都是感情文。

全世界人的感觉都是一样。再多的金钱也买不来让我们内心平静的幸福感。 Charlie坐拥上万的保险金,却脆弱得不及一根羽毛。得到一切失去一些,也不及失去某一个、两个,你在意的人,来得更伤痛。那是我们存在的价值与勇气。他们在电单车上穿梭过繁华似锦的纽约,每一栋转角处的公寓楼下都好像有那家《老友记》的中央公园咖啡馆,满是欢笑的地方。总有一些什么,会让你快乐、受伤,然后细细疗愈之后,用另一种方式成长。生活和世界不会因任何悲剧停滞,我们需要的,只是那个偶尔令人伤痛、但始终给人温暖的字眼。

Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach
Is kissed by the sea
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Layin' in the fields

Love
Reign o'er me



最后装模作样地补充:两位主演没的说;丽芙·泰勒也是美女一只;Alen的妻子现实生活中的先生是Will Smith,原来一家三口都吃演绎饭。像上面说过的,电影里面把纽约拍得很漂亮,那些穿梭过街道的镜头配以动人的音乐,就凭这些也值得一看。

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